Welcome to the inaugural edition of Famous Teetotalers! In this feature, I will highlight a celebrity or cultural icon who you may or (more likely) may not realize is a teetotaler, not unlike myself (DOUBLE NEGATIVE!). Kicking off this feature is someone very special, a rising Hollywood starlet and (co-)star of the summer blockbuster Thor, Kat Dennings!
Oh, Hello
WHO?
Kat Dennings entered my life (and thus, mattered) starting with her appearance as the sassy, smart-mouthed daughter of Catherine Keener in Judd Apatow's breakthrough hit The 40-Year-Old Virgin starring Steve Carrell. Apparently, she appeared in several (some) television shows before this, most notably in an episode of Sex and the City, which is only noticeable to me in that in the same episode (Season 3's "Hot Child in the City"), Carrie starts dating a "hunky comic book store owner who still lives with his parents." Besides confusing this episode with the 'also-starring-Sarah Jessica Parker-film' Failure to Launch, it seems the phrase 'hunky comic book store owner' should (like the film Failure to Launch) not exist.
I will take any excuse to post a ridiculous-looking movie poster.
In this one, Matthew McConaughey is about to crush SJP with the weight of his own uselessness.
Other notable films featuring Ms. Dennings include Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist (guess who she plays!), The House Bunny (guess who she doesn't play!), Big Momma's House 2 (guess... why she appeared in this film!) and in the upcoming CBS sitcom 2 Broke Girls (guess how many episodes this will air!)
Case-in-point
In this sequel, Big Momma apparently grows even bigger, into the sky, and destroys Tokyo.
WHY?
In a December 2008 interview with "BlackBook" magazine, Kat is quoted as saying, "I don't drink and I don't smoke and I don't like being around people who do." Immediately after reading this quote, I was quoted in an interview with my personal black book (which is, oddly, green) as saying "Holy shit! I have a chance." And this is totally legit, not some crazy celebrity crush. Kat is about a year and a half older than myself, currently not married, and we have so much in common. She, too is an avid blogger (though I need to work on the avid part).* I am not sure where she lives, but living in New York, I am in a major media capital. She is also Jewish, and I... look and act very Jewish. I guess what I'm saying is: Internet, let's make this happen! Spread this blog like the locusts of Egypt until it finds its way....
My previous message-spreading service, but since unionizing, I just can't afford it.
Oh my dear Lord I just made a metaphor for spreading the news of my romantic interest in a Jewish girl with a Biblical plague metaphor!!!!! I mean, in a way, that is good. The plagues were meant to help the Jews by convincing Ramses to "Let Charlton Heston's people go!" Still, part of me feels the connection may be a bit... dangerous.
The Great Biblical Prophet Charlton, holding the lost 11th Commandment, "Thou shalt always be packing."
At any rate, please welcome (my future girlfriend) Kat Dennings as the inaugural member of Drew's Teetotaler Hall of Fame! Look for more entries into this list, and as always, leave comments on what you think of the newest entry or any suggestions for future Teetotaler Hall of Famers.
I swear I am not a creep...**
*This may or may not be the reason I began this blog
**Have you figured out Kat gets bigger pictures? Well done!
